Models, Babes and Babies

...My train journey back yesterday was probably more intersting though. I managed to jump on the 16:30 train to Euston just before it left, so there weren't too many spare seats. I looked for a table as I always do, the first one I found with a spare seat was with 2 black guys and a little girl of about 2 or 3. Little kids always make me feel self-concious for some reason, I think its the way they look at you so obveously without compunction.

Anyway, I didn't have as much space as I wanted sat at the table cos the guys were pretty big too, so when
pulled into Birmingham International I decided to switch seats to where a girl who'd just gotten off was sat opposite to get more space (she had had 2 seats to herlself). Shortly after I'd swapped, 2 young women walked past looking for seats together. One of them, a georgous girl with dark hair tied back in aponytail, slim figure and immaculate eyebrows asked me if the seat next to me was taken (I'd just taken my bag and coat off it). I said that it wasn't and that she could sit there, so she called to her friend that there was a seat free and she proceded to sit in my old table seat while her friend, equally slim and well kept but older, sat next to me.

Almost as soon as she sat down, the girl next to me started making a fuss of the little girl at the table. At Coventry some more girls who they knew came and sat with them, one gorgous blonde, another older blonde and a half chinese girl, none of which could be classed as ugly. These women were also captivated by the little girl. As much as I'd have like to, I couldnt talk to any of these beautiful ladies as they were so engrosed in the little girl. I did manage to overhear that they were coming back early from doing a "show" so I thought that they might be dancers (they were too slim to be actors). I also heard them say they'd been wearing feathers all weekend(!?). My dancers theory was proven wrong later on in the journey (when the little girl was resting) and they were engrosed in a magazine (MariClaire i think) and one of them exclaimed "That's me!", talking about an advert. Apparently you can't see her face (this was the really nice blonde one) and she'd been trying to turn into the camera so her face was shown "because that's the difference between 5 grand and 15 grand". So they were Models! Further deduction led me to believe that they were doinga show at the NEC, as they got on at International. And what was on at the NEC last weekend? (http://www.moda-uk.co.uk/uk_uk/index2.htm).

Company Weekend (Part 3) {8539}

... I had a bit of a Frank Spencer moment in my hotel room after I'd unpacked. A bottle of Coke that I bought at the service station wascooling in my fridge. Having worked for a brewery I know all aboutfizzyness (not the technical term, obveously) and how the bubbles areless keen on escaping when the liquid is cool. So I wasnt too worriedabout the fact that the bottle had been rolling around on the floor ofthe car for an hour. This was a mistake.

I turned the top of the bottle ever-so slightly, after which thecontents of the bottle sprayed out over the wall, a bit of the bed,the floor, the bathroom door (as I ran into the bathroom to the sink,rather than just tightenign the top up again), the bathroom door andsink. Acting fast I got a handtowel and mopped up all of the Coke, leaving suspicios brown stains all over the clean white hotel towel.

The agenda for Saturday was as follows: -

14.15 Tea/coffee on arrival
14.30 Welcome and introductions
15.00 ***** Group (Gerald Attia)
15.30 ** Targets for 2005 (John)
15.45 Strategy for meeting targets (Anthony)
16.15 Intranet demo (Andrew)
16.45 Champagne moments of 2004 (John, Anthony)
17.00 Wine tasting quiz (John, Rory)
17.30 Finish

A "getting to know people better" activity helped us to find outinterestng facts about our collegues, such as who has someone famous'phone number (Chirstine has a snooker player's number as he's hercousine) and who has been to the Great Wall of China (nobody). I toldpeople I'd been canoeing (when I was about 5 in a swimmingpool onholiday) and that I'd been to a rave (a legal one I think, in a warehouse in Cambridge).

The "***** Group" session with Gerald (the big cheese from Paris) gave us an outline of our parent and sister companys and was when we got told we're not making enough proffit.

"Champagne moments of 2004" was like a school prize giving evening,although the prize was a bottle of champagne. I didn't get anything,not even "good effort in PE" like I used to get in school. Oh well.

The "Wine Tasting Quiz" was difficult, as we had to say what grape,vintage, country or origin and price wine was. We had 5 wines to try,the first was red, then a white (turned slightly 'rosa' by theleftover red in my cup. Then some more white and a couple more reds.Suffice to say my contibutions to our team weren't too helpful, butwhat do I know about wine? We somehow managed to come joint first andwon the (unfulfilled) promise of a round of drinks from out MD.

After all this fun we had a couple of hours before dinner. I went tomy room, walking past an attractive maid in the corridor.

After a few minutes, there was a nock on the door. It was theattractive young maid. Being, like most people in the hospitalityindustry, foreign her English wasn't too good. She asked me if Iwanted her to "turn down" my bed. Was this a pro-active way ofrejecting future advances from guests? Maybe she was hinting that ifI asked her to bed she would'd turn down the offer? She tried to explain what turning down my bed would entail, it didn't sound like much fun so I said "no". I did ask for a new hand towel though, toprolong our brief relationship incase me telling her that I didn'twant her to turn down my bed didn't have the desired result.

While this isn't the end of my story, I think I'll leave it here asit's dragging on slightly! I'll just say that the rest of the weekendinvolved eating dinner, drinking whisky, meeting an hen-party inscanitly-clad nurse outfits, comparing my room with other peoples,tresspassing in an vacant suite, going to bed at 4am, waking up 45mins before we're supposed to leave and sitting in a car while myhangover caught up with me.

Company Weekend (Part 2) {8535}

... I belive that what it would have told me, had I heard it, was "Thenext train to approach on this platform is not the one you want. Also, you're on the wrong platform for the one you do want, dumb-a##."

[10:50] I get onto thetube. The next stop [10:53] is not the stop I was expecting had Ibeen on the correct line. Looking at my handy tube map I see that Ican change at the next stop, get on the Northern Line south back toLondon Bridge (where I started almost an hour earlier) then getanother tube to Waterloo (near the meeting place). I get to London Bridge in a couple of minutes, run accross to the next platform I needfor the Jubilee Line, dodging old ladies and small kids with almost expert skill.

[10:57] on the Jubilee Line platform at London Bridge
[10:58] the train comes. I know it's going to be tight, should really ring Rory (HR Manager) but, being underground (in the Underground you see) phones don't tend to work too well.

It's [11:02] when I'm above ground at Waterloo. I ring Rory. He'sdriving already. Sht.

"We're on our way now" he says, as I attempt to blurt out myout-of-breath excuses. While I was rushing accross London, he and theother partners were sat comfortably in a cafe.

After that the journey down to Bournmouth, where the Company Weekend was held, was fairly uneventful. One of our convoy got lost and westopped for petrol once; that was about all. When we got to the hotel, we did what people do when they get to a hotel. We checked in. Some rooms were'nt ready as we were early. Mine was, the big French boss's wasn't; which I thought was good. When I got to my room on the top floor, I thought it was the besthotel room I'd ever seen. It wasnt very big, but it had a sea view,en-suite bathroom, TV, double bed, tea and coffee stuff, biscuits, fridge.

My bathroom was really long and also had a sea view - it was just anormal window. Also the loo was under the window, right oppposite thesink and mirror, so going to the toilet could be quite a publicexperiance if anyone cared to look up with a pair of binoculars.

However, as impressive as my room was, I was to discover that it was nothing compared to some of the others...

Company Weekend (part 1) {8534}

Hello,

Thought I'd split my weekend tales into installments so that 1) I'll have time and 2) you won't get so bored reading one long mail (although you may get bored for shorter periods of time more often, so maybe it's not as good for you).

Anyway, I'll start on Saturday morning. We were all supposed to meet up somewhere near the office with our drivers at 11am sharp, nolate-comers please. However if we wanted to go for breakfast we couldmeet at 10am. I didn't really fancy breakfast at somegreasy-spoon so I set out to get to the station near the office atabout half-ten. However being worried I might be late and p##s everyone off (including 1 company director, the HR manager and a group director from Head Office in Paris), I left in some contingency.

Slightly too much as it happend as I got to London Bridge (the trainstation near my office) for 10am with a fair bit of time to kill. As I'd neveractually seen "London Bridge" (the bridge, not the station, that somedopey Americans bought because the wanted "something English" notrealising that its just a plain old traffic bridge and not the world famous "Tower Bridge") I thought I'd have a look while I had some spare time.

When I got to the bridge it was too tempting to resist actuallywalking over it, towards the City of London (where all the poshbuildings are). Once in the city I caught sight of the Swiss Re building (aka The Ghurkin) which recently won a big architecture prize. As it's probably one of the coolest buildings in London, I thought I'd set off on an expedition to find it. The problem was that it kept drifting from view as I turned this corner and that (I couldn't see the buildings for the city, as it were). When I eventually caught up with it I had time to just about walk around it before setting off again to the meeting place. Then I walked a little way down the road and saw the Lloyds building briefly before setting off to find a tube station. By now [10:40] I didn't really have a clue as to where I was, so I did what I always do when lost in London - walked along a main-looking road until I saw signs to a tube station. I found the first station farily easily.

It was closed. The sign on the door suggested I try a station down the road, which is what I did [10:46]. This seemed to be one of the older underground stations, so it didn't have signs telling people whattrains actually stopped at the platform, which was useful. There was an anouncement over the tannoy as I got onto the platform, but I had my MP3 player playing so didn't make it out....."