Sunday
As I was saying, I hatched a cunning and devious plan. It was this: In Croydon swap Fight Club for a more expensive book at Waterstones then go to HMV and buy Fight Club for £3, possibly returning Kaiser Chiefs if it turned out to not be that great (£14 is a lot of money to spend on a CD you don't really like).
When I got back I carfully opened Kaiser Chiefs without taking the security seal off, as S_____ had shown me how to do back in the good old minidisk days when we were poor VI formers. I listened to it a few times but it didn't do much for me to be honest, so I was pretty disapointed. I'd need a reason for returning the CD - "It's just not good enough" is just not a good enough reason really, as I'm not sure that it fits in with either of the 2 allowable reasons stated on the back of the reciept (bought in error, or unwanted gift).
My story was this: "I bought it in London yesterday [true], then went to meet my girlfriend [lie] for lunch [lie] and guess what she'd bought me?! Only this CD [lie]! And I don't really need 2 [true, strictly speeking]." HMV worker bee may say: "Bit of a coincidence that." To which I would extend my story to: "Not really, we [lie] were listening to Import Export friday night [true] and Kaiser Chiefs were on and I said I thought they sounded cool [lie], which is why I bought a copy myself yesterday [true]." That aught to work.
So Sunday morning I put the Kaiser Chiefs CD case back together, checked I had all my reciepts, the CD and the book and set off into Croydon town centre. My first stop was Waterstones, just incase I couldn't swap Fight Club I didn't want to have already bought another copy from HMV and be left with 2 (how ironic that would be). I picked up a copy of Catch-22 and took it downstairs to a girl who gladly exchanged it and then said I owed £1. Erm. "It's in the 3for2 offer, so shouldn't it be free still?" "ah, well really you should have bought all(!) of the books back in with you." "really? Oh. [maybe I could offer to go and find copies of the other books here so she can use the barcodes? Nah, she can make a call out for a worker bee to do that.]" I stand there a while while she thinks what to do. In the end she just discounts £1 of the bill and gives me the book. What a nice girl. Phase 1 complted.
Now on to HMV. It's a smaller HMV than Oxford Street (as most are) and laid out differently. I eventually find the books section - just one bookcase full of books. No Fight Club though. I look at every single book spine - no Fight Club. B____x. Oh well, I can buy it from Birmingham when I'm next there.
On to the "Please Pay Here". "Can I return this CD please?" I say to the girl behind the till. "Sure, have you got your reciept?" "yep". "Ah, we don't actually do refunds" shows me the back of the reciept - only mentions exchanges, not refunds, "Why's that??" "Company policy". B____x. There's not really anything else that I want (except Fight Club). "I could give you a voucher, if you wanted?" Keeping the CD didn't really fit with my story, even though she hadn't asked for it I figured I should stay in character. So "OK then, that's fine". So she gives me a voucher card for £13.99, not realising that I got a 10% discount when I bought the CD in the first place. So in reality, I'm now up 20%, as I can get a further 10% discount next time I buy something from HMV. Not really what I wanted, but the extra £2.80 I'll eventually save at least paid for the rest of my Burger King yesterday.
The moral: Don't buy books from bookshops, get them from music shops, and dont buy music from music shops, get them from supermarkets where they'll give you a £££ refund!
When I got back I carfully opened Kaiser Chiefs without taking the security seal off, as S_____ had shown me how to do back in the good old minidisk days when we were poor VI formers. I listened to it a few times but it didn't do much for me to be honest, so I was pretty disapointed. I'd need a reason for returning the CD - "It's just not good enough" is just not a good enough reason really, as I'm not sure that it fits in with either of the 2 allowable reasons stated on the back of the reciept (bought in error, or unwanted gift).
My story was this: "I bought it in London yesterday [true], then went to meet my girlfriend [lie] for lunch [lie] and guess what she'd bought me?! Only this CD [lie]! And I don't really need 2 [true, strictly speeking]." HMV worker bee may say: "Bit of a coincidence that." To which I would extend my story to: "Not really, we [lie] were listening to Import Export friday night [true] and Kaiser Chiefs were on and I said I thought they sounded cool [lie], which is why I bought a copy myself yesterday [true]." That aught to work.
So Sunday morning I put the Kaiser Chiefs CD case back together, checked I had all my reciepts, the CD and the book and set off into Croydon town centre. My first stop was Waterstones, just incase I couldn't swap Fight Club I didn't want to have already bought another copy from HMV and be left with 2 (how ironic that would be). I picked up a copy of Catch-22 and took it downstairs to a girl who gladly exchanged it and then said I owed £1. Erm. "It's in the 3for2 offer, so shouldn't it be free still?" "ah, well really you should have bought all(!) of the books back in with you." "really? Oh. [maybe I could offer to go and find copies of the other books here so she can use the barcodes? Nah, she can make a call out for a worker bee to do that.]" I stand there a while while she thinks what to do. In the end she just discounts £1 of the bill and gives me the book. What a nice girl. Phase 1 complted.
Now on to HMV. It's a smaller HMV than Oxford Street (as most are) and laid out differently. I eventually find the books section - just one bookcase full of books. No Fight Club though. I look at every single book spine - no Fight Club. B____x. Oh well, I can buy it from Birmingham when I'm next there.
On to the "Please Pay Here". "Can I return this CD please?" I say to the girl behind the till. "Sure, have you got your reciept?" "yep". "Ah, we don't actually do refunds" shows me the back of the reciept - only mentions exchanges, not refunds, "Why's that??" "Company policy". B____x. There's not really anything else that I want (except Fight Club). "I could give you a voucher, if you wanted?" Keeping the CD didn't really fit with my story, even though she hadn't asked for it I figured I should stay in character. So "OK then, that's fine". So she gives me a voucher card for £13.99, not realising that I got a 10% discount when I bought the CD in the first place. So in reality, I'm now up 20%, as I can get a further 10% discount next time I buy something from HMV. Not really what I wanted, but the extra £2.80 I'll eventually save at least paid for the rest of my Burger King yesterday.
The moral: Don't buy books from bookshops, get them from music shops, and dont buy music from music shops, get them from supermarkets where they'll give you a £££ refund!
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