Friday, March 25, 2005

How to start conversations with Girls

So my train-ride home for Easter wasn't too interesting, until just as we pulled into the station and all stood up in the isle waiting to be allowed off and I found myself stood behind a beautiful woman. Blonde hair tied up with a blue band, gorgeous blue eyes behind stylish specs, pale skin, long legs and thin waist. I was dying to talk to her, find out who she was, if I'd have a chance in a million with her. The problem was: what on Earth could I, this meek stranger stood behind her who writes anonymous blogs that no-one reads, say to her, this power-dressed gorgeous woman, to get some sort of rapport going? At the time I drew a blank - I could think of nothing that wouldn't sound sleezy or lame comming from a stranger who just happens to be standing behind her.

Maybe I could have asked her "so how do random guys normally start conversations with you on trains then?", although no-doubt she'd simply reply "not like this" and turn her back to me, not even awarding marks for effort or orignality.

I decided to Google my quandry and found a few useful tips. The ironic (in this case) "I'm Feeling Lucky" result simply advised that practice makes perfect, and that I should be talking to women "anywhere snd everywhere " about "anything that comes to mind". All well and good, but leaving it to whatever is in my mind at the time perhaps isn't too useful when whats on your mind is how to start talking to this woman, so would simply result in the question I suggested above. Or, worse still, simply "God, you're beautiful!" which may lead her to believe I'm an over-enthusiastic christian who's happy that it's Easter soon.

Result #3 (#2 was from the same site as "I'm Feeling Lucky") is rather a long article titled Whe Women Reject Men... And What To Do About It. The bulk of this article was explaining that men fear rejection, so they just don't go up and talk to women in the first place. This is perhaps a little advanced for me, seeing as I can't even think of what to say, let alone being afraid to say it. It then goes on to give a brief list of things to NOT do - as randomly talking to someone in the queue to get off a train isn't on the list I read on. The article then lists several helpful steps to get over this fear of rejection (may be useful when I get to that stage, so I read on). 1) Go to a bar on your own and watch other guys go up and talk to women (I don't think there was a bar on the train...) 2) Start small - by talking to girls who are PAID to talk to you. Suggests walking into every store in a mall (shopping centre to you and I) and starting up conversations. Presumably whilst avoiding the security guards that noticed you walking indescriminately into every single shop without buying anything and thought you'd lost your mommy. 3) Plan ahead (what do you think I'm trying to do here?) Finally, join the online dating agency advertised at the bottom on the article.

Result #4 - Use your iPod. Apparently showing off your playlists is a good way to get girls to randomly show up at your door step. The problem with this approach is that I am genuinely affraid of the iPod invasion of public transport - there's just something sinister about seeing those white headphones no-matter where you go or in which carage you sit. It's like the big white ball from the Prisoner all over again, but this time instead of a giant white balloon following the spirited #6, its a hoard of souless white hard-drives, persecuting my black and chrome HDD for its individuality and slight inferiority.

So I'm non-the-wiser then, I guess I'll just have to Practice, Practice, Practice.

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